Ufouria: The Saga

Your name is Freeon-Leeon and you can swim on the water and walk through snow and ice.

It's 2013, and that means it's time to give animals alcohol. This year it's the turn of the penguins, as featured in 1992's Ufouria: The Saga, otherwise known as Hebereke. It's a game for the NES - the PAL NES.

Icicle Works

It's getting cold outside, so must be time to tell Paul Weller that the river Nile flows through ten African nations and much of the continent follows Islam. We've done this every year since 1986 but he just doesn't listen!

And what better way to celebrate the festive season than Icicle Works for the Commodore 64, a game completely devoid of icicles... and work. Great stuff.

Castlevania

How topical.

Praise the lord for this miracle bestowed upon us. It's gimped Castlevania for the IBM PC, here to enlighten and enthrall the masses with its thought-provoking tales of video game wonder.

Space Channel 5: Part 2

Hey there space cats, this is Squirrel coming to you live with Space Channel 5: Part 2, third game in "Dreamcast" Collection for the Xbox 360. Why not part 1? Because that would make too much damned sense.

Empire

Something interesting I found in my internet travels - Empire, political simulator for the Sega SC-3000, the home computer that nobody likes to talk about.

Madness

The kids are playing up downstairs.

More forgettable old games to give the false impression that this blog is regularly updated with meaningful content? That's madness!

No really.

Catacomb

Apparently these days it takes four years for id Software to ship a game. Here's one that probably took about four weeks.

Catacomb for DOS, one of the original works of a youthful John Carmack, back in the days before BSP trees and megatextures. It has pink walls.

Willy the Worm

Because graphics are boring.

Willy the Worm, a not-so-brilliant title for a very brilliant 1985 DOS game. It's optimised for colour monitors!

Kid Chaos

Sound the alarm, it's another Sonic the Hedgehog clone.

Kid Chaos for the Commodore Amiga (and CD32!), developed by Magnetic Fields and published by Ocean Software in 1994. That's one stunning title screen there - appeal to the kids of the 90s with a reject from The Beano. Give that man a medal.

Super Hang-On

Many thanks to Andlabs, who demonstrated that in order for a game to work in one emulator, sometimes you have to use two.

A quick one because it's interesting. Super Hang-On, the Macintosh version. This is a rare breed - for one, it's a Sega game on a Mac, and in 1987 that didn't happen. It's also almost entirely different to the arcade version, so it hardly qualifies as a port at all. How fancy.

Mr. Nutz: Hoppin' Mad

...on Blog Squirrel.

Can't get this on Nintendo!.. or Sega... officially. Mr. Nutz: Hoppin' Mad, once set to hit your Sega Mega Drives in early 1994, before being cancelled by the man, plunging the world into fifteen years of misery and turmoil.

Thankfully we have been liberated from the darkness and oppression, as we now have both prototype source code and working ROMs of this game to play with. No doubt a good day for the world.

Vigilance on Talos V

There is only one major issue I have with Super Metroid - it's a SNES game. Try as I might to sit down and finish it, Nintendo's unique take on audio coupled with the slow and dark nature of 16-bit Zebes means I often struggle to keep my eyes open while playing.

Thankfully, there are alternatives. Here's one; Vigilance on Talos V, released in 1996 for DOS. Gradient heavy mid-90s graphics, questionable voice acting, low production values... it's perfect.

Dark Castle

A few months ago, the horrendous Mega Drive (and CD-i) release of Dark Castle was roasted by the Angry Video Game Nerd for horrific controls and stupid design, and a good deed was probably done for the world.

Unfortunately, the AVGN show isn't always well informed. Turns out there's a second opinion on the internet coming from the Macintosh fans. Dark Castle, a classic? It has sequels? It has a following? Oh no!

1941: Counter Attack

Lock up your women and children - Squirrel's reviewing a PC Engine SuperGrafx game. Last time this happened thirteen innocent lives were lost. Some of us are still in mourning.

1941: Counter Attack. Sequel to 1943 and 1942, because fighting with the Japanese before 1945 disrupts the fabric of time, as my long time fans will tell you.

Puyo Puyo Tsuu

Look at this. Puyo Puyo Tsuu for the Mega Drive, an iteration of one of the best puzzle games ever made. A game you all need to play, but yet I can almost guarantee nobody will, mostly due to its failure of its aesthetics to appeal to anyone. First impressions are key, and Tsuu looks like another piece of worthless Japanese tat. Isn't it great that looks can be deceiving?

Jaki Crush

"I wonder what Squirrel will post next..."

Surprise! It's an obsolete pinball game from twenty years ago! Jaki Crush, for the Super Famicom, built by Naxat Soft. We're living it large, friends.

Ninku Gaiden: Hiroyuki Daikatsugeki

Ugh. Yes, I know, illegible Japanese tat, get it off this blog, etc., and I agree - I don't like littering posts with words I can't pronounce. But I do like Pengo, and if I don't highlight this one, nobody will.

King & Balloon

Man the space cannons - Richard Branson is attacking the monarchy. This is King & Balloon, released in 1980 by Namco. Remind me why we don't care.

Gorby no Pipeline Daisakusen

Joy of joys, it's some words I can't pronounce.

Blog Squirrel 2012 game of the year alert! It's Gorby no Pipeline Daisakusen for the MSX2. I can feel the  excitement resonating through the telephone lines.

But before you move on in your internet adventures, something must be pointed out - this game has former Soviet leader, Mikhail Gorbachev, single handedly create a water network for people of the USSR. Yep, it's political. And amazing.

Oil's Well

There's nothing I hate more than crazed trade unionists disrupting my Friday night TV viewing schedule. I spy an opportunity to return the favour.

It's Oil's Well, a 1983 computer game by Sierra On-Line, demonstrating how complex machinery and robotics can replace the working man. Where's the GMB now?! Though... I guess you could be part of the team who builds the machines... and I guess you don't tend to send humans underground to extract oil anyway, so this complex and poorly thought-through political reference is a bit redundant. Still, no reason to postpone that episode of QI, and maybe if he watched it, Chuka Umunna would develop a sense of humour.