Look, it's Edd the Duck!, a twenty-two year old Amiga game based on an old Children's BBC mascot. It's what the public wants. Maybe.
Showing posts with label Tat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tat. Show all posts
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Edd the Duck!
Blog Squirrel, appealing to the masses.
Look, it's Edd the Duck!, a twenty-two year old Amiga game based on an old Children's BBC mascot. It's what the public wants. Maybe.
Look, it's Edd the Duck!, a twenty-two year old Amiga game based on an old Children's BBC mascot. It's what the public wants. Maybe.
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Spitting Image
Such is the life of Squirrel that this is the second fighting game involving Mrs. Thatcher to cross my path... but the first not to display all its text in Korean.
Erm yes, look, another comedy sketch show turned video game for the Amiga. This one's a fighting game, made in the days before we knew how to make fighting games. What such productive lives we lived in the late 1980s.
Erm yes, look, another comedy sketch show turned video game for the Amiga. This one's a fighting game, made in the days before we knew how to make fighting games. What such productive lives we lived in the late 1980s.
Tuesday, 19 June 2012
ATF II
Look what I found on my shelf. ATF II - a two decade old "arcade" flight simulator for the IBM PC which I've never bothered to play. How does this masterpiece fare in 2012? I can't say, because I couldn't get it to run.
But that's okay, we can still experience the redundancy through this Amiga copy! What a glorious day for the world!
Sunday, 1 January 2012
The A-Team
It's a new year, and what better way to spend it then by looking at Commodore 64 tat from 1985. It's The A-Team, apparently.
Saturday, 12 November 2011
Indy 500
A film by George Lucas. With even more aliens and fridges.
Or could it be something worse? Indeed it can - it's Indy 500 for the Game.com! If you feel the need for more abysmal racing experiences in your life, this is the one to turn to. Provided of course you're turning left.
Or could it be something worse? Indeed it can - it's Indy 500 for the Game.com! If you feel the need for more abysmal racing experiences in your life, this is the one to turn to. Provided of course you're turning left.
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Saturday, 22 October 2011
Sonic Jam
I haven't caused major harm to my brain in a while. Let's fix that.
Why look, it's Sonic Jam... on the Game.com. Yes, internet legend drx got his hands on an official Game.com emulator and development environment, so now it's possible to play games for this horrible, horrible system without having to exchange funds. As a start in this Game.com marathon I have lined up, I'll be looking at perhaps the most famous Game.com game and the first Sonic game to be released outside of a Sega system. I'm sure Yuji Naka will be proud.
Why look, it's Sonic Jam... on the Game.com. Yes, internet legend drx got his hands on an official Game.com emulator and development environment, so now it's possible to play games for this horrible, horrible system without having to exchange funds. As a start in this Game.com marathon I have lined up, I'll be looking at perhaps the most famous Game.com game and the first Sonic game to be released outside of a Sega system. I'm sure Yuji Naka will be proud.
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
Logger
Logger, a 1982 British arcade invention by Century Electronics. It's Donkey Kong, but worse in every conceivable way. Fantastic.
Thursday, 23 June 2011
E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial
Dun dun duuun.
Atari 2600 time! And what better way to go than to pick one of the supposedly worst Atari 2600 games out there - E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial, released in 1982 by Atari. This one almost killed an industry, in the process making sure the likes of Quaker Oats never strayed from making breakfast cereal again. But is it really as mind-bogglingly terrible as they say?
Atari 2600 time! And what better way to go than to pick one of the supposedly worst Atari 2600 games out there - E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial, released in 1982 by Atari. This one almost killed an industry, in the process making sure the likes of Quaker Oats never strayed from making breakfast cereal again. But is it really as mind-bogglingly terrible as they say?
Friday, 10 June 2011
Haunted Castle
Hey look it's Akumajō Dracu- HAUNTED CASTLE. Following that last Castlevania review I felt the urge to go hunting for the other three games that share the same Japanese name. Bad idea.
This is perhaps the worst Castlevania game in the history of the series, which probably explains why it doesn't use the Castlevania brand name. There may be 3D or Game Boy releases that beat it on the crap scale, but you can expect this one to be near the top.
This is perhaps the worst Castlevania game in the history of the series, which probably explains why it doesn't use the Castlevania brand name. There may be 3D or Game Boy releases that beat it on the crap scale, but you can expect this one to be near the top.
Monday, 28 February 2011
Night Stalker
The trend of reviewing games for terrible old systems continues!
We're beyond scraping the bottom of the barrel now. In fact, when dealing with the Mattel Intellivision, we're scraping the bottom of a big, brightly coloured square, squeaking and flickering as it hopes to one day be as famous as the Atari kegs. This is Night Stalker, circa 1982, and there's a reason that I picked it for review today. Let's take a peek.
We're beyond scraping the bottom of the barrel now. In fact, when dealing with the Mattel Intellivision, we're scraping the bottom of a big, brightly coloured square, squeaking and flickering as it hopes to one day be as famous as the Atari kegs. This is Night Stalker, circa 1982, and there's a reason that I picked it for review today. Let's take a peek.
Saturday, 15 January 2011
Crazy Cars (DOS)
Look, I've found some tat. It's CRAZY CARS for DOS, circa 1987. Published by Titus, it's the first game in a trilogy, and it's a completely unremarkable and pointless title. Perfect for this blog then.
Friday, 7 January 2011
Korea Karate
I don't know if you remember, but when I was younger I had some strange fascination with Korea. I didn't really read up on much of the politics behind it at the time, just expecting a reunified state under Seoul's control. That's ignoring the "space" bit, though I suppose the concept of invading the universe is just as plausible as Homefront's invasion of the US to jeopardise FREEDOMS.
Today, KOREA KARATE for the Commodore 64. This is a completely awful game, not even worth a jump link to describe it in any more detail. You play as the man dressed in white, you walk forward to the shoddily programmed man dressed in red, you attempt to punch him, get kicked in the face, and die.
Korea Karate. This was sold to people and claimed to beat IK+. Just think about that for a second.
Today, KOREA KARATE for the Commodore 64. This is a completely awful game, not even worth a jump link to describe it in any more detail. You play as the man dressed in white, you walk forward to the shoddily programmed man dressed in red, you attempt to punch him, get kicked in the face, and die.
Korea Karate. This was sold to people and claimed to beat IK+. Just think about that for a second.
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Billy the Kid Returns
Well... this is bad.
Billy the Kid Returns, another remnant from my DOS-based childhood. It was developed by a company known as "Alive Software", but trust me, this one's better off dead. Billy the Kid is a prime example of a truly poor and flimsy title worth the time of no man.
So lets spend some time finding out why!
Billy the Kid Returns, another remnant from my DOS-based childhood. It was developed by a company known as "Alive Software", but trust me, this one's better off dead. Billy the Kid is a prime example of a truly poor and flimsy title worth the time of no man.
So lets spend some time finding out why!
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Arcade Classics
Classic game compilations are great. With the power of modern technology the expensive arcade machines of years long past can now be played in the comfort of your own home, for cheap, instantly. Of course in some cases such as when Sega hop on the re-release train, you don't get the best results. Sega's classic "cat in a blender" additions to many Mega Drive musical scores repeatedly give your childhood that extra level of cringe, but others seem to do a reasonable job.
But what were things like before the days of emulation? Like this, Arcade Classics on the Sega Mega Drive (and Sega Game Gear). Can they get it right? Is it even possible to get Pong wrong? Better find out.
But what were things like before the days of emulation? Like this, Arcade Classics on the Sega Mega Drive (and Sega Game Gear). Can they get it right? Is it even possible to get Pong wrong? Better find out.
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
Fatman
Oh my god what am I doing with my life.
Remember a while back when I played Shaq Fu and claimed that it wasn't as bad as people made out? Well I think it's probably time to show you a fighting game that is truely terrible. That game is "Fatman", or to give it its localised and more disturbing title, "Tongue of the Fatman" (or in the US, "Slaughter Sport"). Hold on to your children.
Remember a while back when I played Shaq Fu and claimed that it wasn't as bad as people made out? Well I think it's probably time to show you a fighting game that is truely terrible. That game is "Fatman", or to give it its localised and more disturbing title, "Tongue of the Fatman" (or in the US, "Slaughter Sport"). Hold on to your children.
Saturday, 17 July 2010
Jumper: Griffin's Story
Oh yeah, I own this game.
This sat unopened on a shelf for a couple of years, and only caught my attention after putting my now completed copy of Super Mario Galaxy 2 away. Released for the PlayStation 2, Wii and Xbox 360 in 2008 as a movie tie-in, the game was quickly thrown aside after being given some disastrous review scores that never peaked past 35%. It's the worst type of shovelware, and I can't explain why I own it, but I do.
This sat unopened on a shelf for a couple of years, and only caught my attention after putting my now completed copy of Super Mario Galaxy 2 away. Released for the PlayStation 2, Wii and Xbox 360 in 2008 as a movie tie-in, the game was quickly thrown aside after being given some disastrous review scores that never peaked past 35%. It's the worst type of shovelware, and I can't explain why I own it, but I do.
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Mario's Brewery
You wouldn't want this on Nintendo
Forget the old record set by BROS, this unofficial Mario game is six years older and six times as worse. Developed by a guy called Jeremy Thorne in 1983 for the Commodore 64, Mario's Brewery could potentially be the first Mario fangame of all time, suffering from awful build quality and lacking official Nintendo endorsement. Clearly inspired by Donkey Kong, our good friend Mario has decided to move into beverage production for some reason. A bizarre pixellated contraption throws an endless supply of barrels down a series of girders and it's up to Mario to... jump over them. Mario's an odd chap.
There's no beginning, there's no end, there's just Mario struggling to avoid barrels in a bland world with repetitive music. Though the game is generous enough to allow Mario to jump over numerous barrels at once, the increased jump distance means you're more likely to be killed by barrels rolling about above. There's no title screen or high scores and a lack of animation clearly gives the impression it was made by a fan. After all, the Commodore 64 fanbase was filled with programmers wanting to design games for the system (as were most of the other computer fanbases at the time).
It's barely playable, but it's interesting to see how far Mario fangames date back to. It was only a year after the "Mario" name had even been invented for the character.
Forget the old record set by BROS, this unofficial Mario game is six years older and six times as worse. Developed by a guy called Jeremy Thorne in 1983 for the Commodore 64, Mario's Brewery could potentially be the first Mario fangame of all time, suffering from awful build quality and lacking official Nintendo endorsement. Clearly inspired by Donkey Kong, our good friend Mario has decided to move into beverage production for some reason. A bizarre pixellated contraption throws an endless supply of barrels down a series of girders and it's up to Mario to... jump over them. Mario's an odd chap.
There's no beginning, there's no end, there's just Mario struggling to avoid barrels in a bland world with repetitive music. Though the game is generous enough to allow Mario to jump over numerous barrels at once, the increased jump distance means you're more likely to be killed by barrels rolling about above. There's no title screen or high scores and a lack of animation clearly gives the impression it was made by a fan. After all, the Commodore 64 fanbase was filled with programmers wanting to design games for the system (as were most of the other computer fanbases at the time).
It's barely playable, but it's interesting to see how far Mario fangames date back to. It was only a year after the "Mario" name had even been invented for the character.
Monday, 1 February 2010
How low can you go?
Make sure your exit path isn't blocked as we fly into
the DOS port of Donkey Kong from 1983. Under normal circumstances you'd assume that the powerful range of IBM computers would put any console version of the game to shame, but instead the result was one of the worst games the ape has ever been thrown into. Let's take a look!
the DOS port of Donkey Kong from 1983. Under normal circumstances you'd assume that the powerful range of IBM computers would put any console version of the game to shame, but instead the result was one of the worst games the ape has ever been thrown into. Let's take a look!
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