Pinball FX 2: Shaman

Hey look, it's the day nobody was waiting for - equality amongst pinball simulators by Zen Studios.

Shaman, El Dorado, Tesla and V12, four pinball tables from 2009 originally exclusive to PlayStation 3 users, are now available to Xbox 360 fans via Pinball FX 2. Trying to describe the situation hurts my head, but I'm going to review each table individually anyway because I can, starting with Shaman... right now.

Icicle Works

It's getting cold outside, so must be time to tell Paul Weller that the river Nile flows through ten African nations and much of the continent follows Islam. We've done this every year since 1986 but he just doesn't listen!

And what better way to celebrate the festive season than Icicle Works for the Commodore 64, a game completely devoid of icicles... and work. Great stuff.

SOOG: Wii U

That's the sound of da police.

It's new Nintendo console time, and I thought I'd try something hilarious - give my opinions on a system I've not seen and don't plan to buy, because that's totally what you want to read. Won't get that elsewhere on the internet, nope.

Hard 'n' Heavy

Remember Great Giana Sisters, the world's most famous Super Mario Bros. clone? Of course you do - the internet won't let you forget.

But what about the sequel? This is Hard 'n' Heavy for the Amiga, converted, apparently, by a man without a name. We're off to a good start.

Pinball FX 2: Civil War

Time to put your PhD to good use.

Politics, pinball and Marvel Comics, all rolled up into one bundle in the form of Civil War, recently released to Pinball FX 2. Chose your coloured gimp and manipulate the powers at be. Sounds lovely.

SOOG: 20 Japanese Saturn Games That Should Have Been Released in the UK

In the last two years I've become a bastion of pointless Sega knowledge, something that's unlikely to assist my day-to-day life. Generally I find the ladies don't want to know what the average battery life of a Game Gear is, so I can't see it being a route to marriage (p.s. it's roughly three-to-five hours but the later US models by Majesco bring it closer to ten - call me if you care).


Anyway I've resisted the temptation of posting lists for five years, so here is a set of Japanese-exclusive Sega Saturn games which should have been released in the United Kingdom... although these aren't necessarily the best candidates for import, nor are there strictly twenty games here. My skills in quality control clearly remain undiminished.

Edd the Duck!

Blog Squirrel, appealing to the masses.

Look, it's Edd the Duck!, a twenty-two year old Amiga game based on an old Children's BBC mascot. It's what the public wants. Maybe.

Castlevania

How topical.

Praise the lord for this miracle bestowed upon us. It's gimped Castlevania for the IBM PC, here to enlighten and enthrall the masses with its thought-provoking tales of video game wonder.

McDonalds Monogatari Honobono Tenchou Ikusei Game

In the days before blank-VHS manufacturer TDK hit it big in the video game industry with such timeless classics as "Westlife: Fan-o-Mania" for the PlayStation, they made McDonalds Monogatari Honobono Tenchou Ikusei Game for the Game Boy Color. It's a game who's name rolls right off your tongue... and onto the floor... after it's just been rejected from your stomach.

Bamboozle!

Television in the United Kingdom is a wonderful thing. Last night the BBC exposed the failure of the BBC to expose the failings of the BBC, and the news story was covered on the BBC for maximum exposure.

But for everything strange brought into this world, something strange must be taken away. Today is the day when digital switchover concludes, and with that, the end of the much-loved Teletext service. Bamber Boozler has just joined the unemployment statistics.

Sega Bass Fishing

The frightening tales of Dreamcast Collection for the Xbox 360 come to a close with Sega Bass Fishing, the game everybody wanted.

Space Channel 5: Part 2

Hey there space cats, this is Squirrel coming to you live with Space Channel 5: Part 2, third game in "Dreamcast" Collection for the Xbox 360. Why not part 1? Because that would make too much damned sense.

Zaxxon

Redundancy!

Zaxxon for the Dragon 32, an arcade shooter which I'm not fond of, ported to a computer I've never used. Sounds like a fine recipe for success.

Crazy Taxi

Because this blog needs more Dreamcast games. Even if this isn't one of them.

Craaazy Taxi, part two of our wonderful journey through half-hearted Sega compilations. I made some crazy money once - I had a £5 note which set a bin on fire with no regard for human safety. What am I typing.

Empire

Something interesting I found in my internet travels - Empire, political simulator for the Sega SC-3000, the home computer that nobody likes to talk about.

Sonic Adventure

Blog Squirrel, home of obscure games.

I have in my possession a copy of Dreamcast Collection for the Xbox 360. Why this was given to me considering my fairly hefty library of real Dreamcast games is anybody's guess, but here we are, and here's the first game of the pack, the lovely Sonic Adventure, first released to Xbox Live in 2010.

Nail'd

Over the months and years I've had tons of fun picking apart critically acclaimed games to find that they're not too great. Or at least I think that qualifies as fun... I'm not entirely sure.

But hey, here's critically "mixed" game, so I guess that means that once I've picked it apart, it'll be horrible. Nail'd for the Xbox 360, because we need to omit the "e" - that's obvious.

Pinball FX 2: Plants vs. Zombies

Something current on Blog Squirrel? Better get that third runway up and running because the pigs want to fly.

Satire. And yes, I've decided to embark on individual Pinball FX 2/Zen Pinball table review(s), because outdated thoughts from mid-2011 scarcely apply to content released in recent days. This is the Plants vs. Zombies table, which deserves a mention because it breaks established norms by not being outstanding. Oh no.

Madness

The kids are playing up downstairs.

More forgettable old games to give the false impression that this blog is regularly updated with meaningful content? That's madness!

No really.

Catacomb

Apparently these days it takes four years for id Software to ship a game. Here's one that probably took about four weeks.

Catacomb for DOS, one of the original works of a youthful John Carmack, back in the days before BSP trees and megatextures. It has pink walls.